Thursday, August 26, 2010

Mixed Feelings =(

Hmmm.... It is so unlike me 2 update my blog so soon, but since am free now, at least I hope Kion doesn't wake up till tml morning cos she had been asleep since 6.30pm(So lucky 2be able 2 watch the YOG table-tennis finale with her sleeping in my arms) of cos, its due 2 the fact that she had missed her afternoon nap=(

Okok. so time 2 annouce the truth, nothing but the truth... I am..... not Pregnant after all=( I wonder y, but I did feel a tiny weeny bit of disappointed when my urine test done yesterday showed a -ve result. Afterall, haven't I, all the while, been against the idea of having a 2nd child??? Maybe during the period where I missed my mense, I had been convincing myself that I had gotten pregnant & also due 2 my recent putting on another 2kg that I wish I was pregnant(at least it gave me an excuse 2 put on weight).
Well, all these r just a fraction of the reason of getting disappointed... I think the real reason of y I'm disappointed was the fact tat I had made Kion tot that there's a baby sister in my tummy & seeing her accepting it, yet realized tat everything was false, is a major upset.

We had a conversation like this today, Me, taking out my U-kimono from my drawer & facing Kion:" I'm gg 2 use my U-kimono later." Kion:"I dont wan Mummy, I dont wan u 2 do it!" Me:" I dont care hor, u dont always stop me from using it ok". Kion:"y? bcos meimei inside ur stomach so must do is it?" Me:" No, cos no meimei in my stomach, tat's y can use!". Kion:" Y no meimei in ur stomach???" Me:" I also dunno Y".

Frankly speaking, from my previous workin experiences, I knew tat urine tests r the most accurate, or I should say earliest form of way 2 detect a pregnancy. Whatever cant b seen thru scan, can b detected thru urine test 2 confirm a pregnancy. Yet due 2 the fact tat my mense had never been consistent, I went back 2 see Dr Kowa today, hoping tat he could tell me that my mense is not here yet cos I am pregnant.
Sad 2 say, this was not so.. in fact Dr kowa didnt even asked me 2 do a urine test after hearing tat I just did 1 yesterday. He even asked if I am still workin, probably thinking tat how could someone who had been workin in an O&G 4 so long b so ignorant & cant even tell if she is pregnant or not...
Well, things wasnt so complicated in the past, but due 2 the fact tat after having Kion, both Kelvin & I tot tat one is enough, therefor I went on the pills. After taking the pills 4 quite some time, I felt tat my weight loss had been in complete failure, therefore decided 2 stop the pills, & only from there did I know how much harm had those tiny little pills did 2 my body. Infact, they made my menses cycle turned into a total mess=(.... (anyway, these few paragraphs belonged 2 the 22th Aug's event, I am late in completing my post again.)

By the way, 2 days ago Kion finally said:" I love u, mummy" to my surprise cos all these while, I'm always the one who says so to her 1st but this time round, she said it willingly by herself, out of no reason...No, no,no, she said it cos of LOVE, the Love she has 4 MUMMY=) Then after the surprise 'I love u' 2 days ago, I got another :"I love u, mummy" from Kion today while I was carrying her at Parkway parade. It happened when Kelvin went 2 unload somethings(should say, Kion's shopping loots, Kion has been buying many things recently) in the car & while waiting 4 him, i carried Kion, walked around when she suddenly used her tiny hands 2 hold my face & look into my eyes while saying 'I love u, Mummy'=)

Hehehee... so sweet, how my heart melted when I heard her said. Haha, I think Kelvin must b jealous, not really jealous,ok, he said he's not jealous after all=( but I think he really hope that Kion would say I love u to him too....

Anyway I am also abit worry about the amt of things Kion buys on shopping trips recently. I wonder if its due 2 the fact tat she is now into another phrase of life, shopping phrase???

The 3 of us went Parkway after Kion's shichida lesson today cos Kelvin & I badly needed a hair-cut as there r plenty of split-ends at the ends of my hair &b4 Kelvin, he just felt tat his hair has grown. I havent been 2 my hair-stylist since CNY cos he's now stationed so far from my new place & also partly cos he permed my hair differently, in fact, I would say, UGLYLY from previous( tat's y I boycott him) so I decided 2 go try out the Supercut in Parkway parade=)

Hehehee, as usual Kelvin goes 2 his $10 hair-cut saloon, while Kion & I went 2 Supercut. I didnt wanted 2 let Kion cut her hair cos I just did a nice job of trimming her fringe yesterday, but she insisted tat she needed 1 so I brought her 2 Supercut & asked her if she wanted 2 cut at Supercut, or the "Children Saloon" few shops away. Of cos she choose the "Children saloon" cos she had been there b4 & for $20, they threw in free balloon & stickers...

After the hair cut, Kelvin bought her a doggy balloon, the one which she wanted when I brought her to Parkway 2days ago, but i didnt buy as I felt tat it was a waste of $( can u imagine a balloon tat cost $13???) Well, as usual, this is not the end. We later when to level 1 & there was a toy fair going on... Kion managed 2 find a pink scooter there & wanted us 2 get it 4 her. Yes, she had all the while wished 4 a pink scooter but I always brushed it off by saying tat we'll get her 1 later on as she havent even mastered the tricycle we bought few mths back(probably our fault cos we seldom bring her 2 the park).

Anyway Kion managed 2 convince us tat the pink scooter was what she had been wishing 4 all along & we, therefore bought it. Later on, Kelvin asked if we should get Yangzhi, Kion's cousin, who is celebrating his Bday this sat, a birthday present & I mentioned books... Kelvin reminded me tat Yangzhi, may not like books, but by then, Kion insisted that she needed some new books for bedtime stories & once again we stormed into 'Borders' 2 get some children bks 4 her.

See, everytime I bring her shopping, she would spend 2 to 3 hundreds of dollars, wah, if I bring her shopping every alternate day, I would b broke very very soon I guess=(
Seriously, I know she isnt 2 blame, how could she understand the value of $ at such young age rite? & if we can afford, shouldn't we give our children the best? I can only hope that we wont spoil her. Its really tough trying 2 be good parents....

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Happy Birthday 2 Daddy & Mummy!!!

Hehehee... yup, August is the month I love most cos both Daddy & Mummy's birthday falls on this month =)Daddy's Birthday is on the 13th while Mummy's on the 19th.... To me, it is considered a rare case if we could fall in love with a partner who has the same Birth month as us, as same birth month, usually means same horoscope as well =)

& yes, August might b a unforgettable month later on in my life as I, may b "PREGNANT" okok, so I dunno yet whether issit so but my mense had been late, although I did tested one wk ago & the result was -ve...
Seriously, I dunno if I should b hoping 4 a -ve result or a +ve one.

I asked Kelvin the other day whether he had read my blog & if not, doesnt he feels like reading?? He told me that if writing a blog is like writing a diary, then shouln't it b kept as private????

Yup, writing a diary should b private, that's y I remembered Mummy telling me when I was very very young, not 2 keep a diary, cos ur diary might b the one who betray u 1 day.... but now, as I grow older, I am careful enough, though mayb not, cos i always update my blog on a semi-conscious state (friends who knows me will understand this rite? understand my binge-drinking habit at nite, or is there anyone else who understands me after my one & only best friend past-away=() not 2 state things which I dont want pple 2 know, in my blog...

As my blog is not very up 2 date & consistent, I would cut short of everything & just try 2 summarise Aug's event....

I'll start with yesterday, 21st Aug 2010:

Today is a windy day, just rite 4 us as we were planning 2 go 2 the Fish Farms at "Lim Chu Kang" as Kelvin thinks that we should add 3 more fishes 2 our water feature, & since Daddy is free, he can help us with selecting our fishes(4 those who dont konw, fishes which Kelvin bought, usually doesnt survive more than 3days....) Thank u DaDDY 4 staying over at our place 2 teach me the "sambal hei be hiam" recipe as well as helping us with the purchasing of our fish=)

We managed 2 get our 3 fishes from "Qian Hu" in "Lim Chu Kang", & Kelvin & I even tried the fish spa there. I was a virgin 2 fish spa, but Kelvin had tried iy b4 wif Winnie at Kenko few mths ago... OMG, was it ticklelesh???( how do I spell it?) anyway, Kion burst out in tears when she saw the hugh fishes biting our feets....
Sometimes, i really wonder how could a mischevious gal like her b so timid???

Next would b on 18th Aug: we celebrated Mummy's birthday 1 day earlier as Kion was having Shichida on 19th therefore could go out later on the 18th... We had dinner at "SiChuan Dou Hua" at plaza royal hotel... I remember that when we last went there, Kion was less than 1yrs old... Imagine how fast time flies... We took some pics & video cam moments which Kion had been watching 4 the past few nites=)
Hehehee... at least now I feel that my cam-c order is worth buying=)

Lastly 2 update, would b Daddy's birthday, which is on 13th Aug=)
We brought Daddy 2 "Gim Tim" at Ang Mo Kio 4 dinner & seriously, till today, I still think that their food is values 4 $$$ if not better.
After dinner, we went 2 "Jack's Place", bought a chocolate mouse cake, went back 2 Yishun & cutted the cake. P.s: I think the cake was simply delicious, even Kelvin, who at normal days, turns down cakes. couldn't resist at having a 3rd serving=)
Hehehee....

Friday, August 20, 2010

I hate it when we FIGHT!!!

Yes, it sure sucks when a couple quarrels but in my case, I simply hate quarreling with him to the core....
Why? cos we seldom quarrels as Kelvin usually gives in 2 me, thinking that I'm young & therefore impulsive, or maybe bcos he's always the one doing wrong things, upsetting me......

It all took place at 8am in the morning, Kion:"Mummy, I dont want to go to school"(sobbing in tears). Me:"Be good Kion, time 4 school". Kion:" mummy, I dont want 2 go, I want 2 sleep, I'm so tired". (Daddy, on the bed with us, but no reaction at all) Me:" Kion, u better stop it & get up now", me to Kelvin:" just 1 child & we cant handle, what makes u think we should have another one?" I admit by now my tone was cold & icy as I was by now quite irritated cos things had been like this 4 the past few days=(

Later on after sending Kion 2 school, Kelvin raised his voice a little while talking 2 me... He said that I was throwing all my fustrations 2 him & said that if I didnt want another child, I should just tell him straight in the face. But didnt I already told him a few wks ago that mayb we should just stick 2 one as we seriously or mayb its just me, seriously afraid that I may not be able 2 handle 2.
We quarrelled & I blamed him & cited examples of him not being able 2 discipline Kion, but he simply said that he just doesnt know how 2 and therefore leaves the disciplinary part 2 me. I dont want our children 2 have parents who doesnt take part much in their growing process, that's y I always try not 2 bring my helper along when we goes out as I'm sure that Kelvin would help me whenever Kion needs my help. Yet 2 him, he feels that hiring a helper is 2 make my life easier, therefore we should always bring our helper out with us, so that Kion would have a companion 2 play with, a person 2 feed her,& a person 2 lessen my burden when we r out. But isn't all these the job of a parent???

It is tough when a couple has different views in life, & it is even tougher when he has already lay out his cards & want me 2 agree with him =(((
Life is just so contradicting, initially when we 1st had Kion, we tot that 1 would b enough,& tat we would shower her with all our love & teach & groom her patiently, although non of the both of us r genius... Then when Kion was abt 2yrs old, we observed that she was always looking at other kids who had companion, either brother or sister, 2 play with & we tot that she may like 2 have a sibling as well.... After deciding that we should get her a sibling, we tried 2 introduce the idea 2 her, but she didnt like it at all. Most of my conversation with her goes like this, I said" Kion, do u want mummy 2 give u a sister or brother so that she/he can play with u?" Kion replied" No, I dont want. Sister would take my things & brother would fight with me". After having a few conversation like this, I gave up on the idea of having another baby cos isn't it bcos of her that we planned 2 have a 2nd child? Yet y is it that Kelvin is insisting now that we shouldnt listen 2 her & plainly cos of her views that we abandon the idea of having a 2nd child???

I wonder what would the outcome be? Would Kelvin think back & understand how I'm feeling? Or would I b the one who in the end, give in 2 him??? I do not believe in allowing heaven 2 control my destiny as I think that we r all able 2 decided what we want, 2 say that our life is fated is just an excuse.

Seriously, my heart sank when Kelvin told me that he doesnt knows how 2 discipline his children =(( What makes him think that I knows??? Both of us r 1st time parents, & we r going thru a trial & error state. But it is important that we do not make mistakes this time round cos in front of us lies the fate & future of a life, not just simply a mathemathical qns....
Whatever we do or teach, would mould her into what she becomes in future...

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Welcome August, Happy National Day!!!

Yes, we r finally back from Perth....
Infact, we were back on the 3rd aug, but no time to update my blog...
Anyway this blog also very irritating, cos I cant seems to upload photos to every individual post, why is this so huh???

Well, I must say that we did had an enjoyable trip this time round, and surprisingly, this trip was enjoyable because there is no shopping done=)
Hehehee.... even I myself am shocked to realize that I can actually enjoy holidaying without shopping.

Actually, this is also consider as our first trip together as a family, cos previously, we always brought along my mum & sis, or other times, Kelvin's family. I seriously cherished the one week very much & I hope that Kelvin & Kion felt the same.

So here is details of the trip....

Day 1: we arrived at Perth airport at abt 3pm, went to collect our car, then tried figuring out how 2 use the Garmin GPS, as W.A was a really big area, plus the GPS didnt had a POI choice like ours, I was really feeling stressed out till I managed to key in the rd name, 3 brook ellen st or something but 135 brook ellen st came out n we decided 2 select that option. From the GPS, we realized that we needed 2 drive 4 abt 5hrs, therefore decided 2 have a quick bite, which in this case, turned out 2 be KFC, before continuning our journey. Frankly speaking, the KFC in Perth was lousy, or at least, what we have in SG, tastes better.
On the way 2 Gilgara was interesting as we past by lots of farms seeing many cows, sheeps etc.... soon the sky turned dark, in fact the sky turned dark very early as it was winter. This was the moment I began getting nervous, as Kelvin depended on the GPS while I gave the add for the GPS to direct. What if the route which the GPS prompted me to select was wrong? What r we gonna do? And did I menyion that Kion didnt had a nap the whole day as I think she was probably too excited abt the trip.
Anyway, I finally felt a sense of relieve at abt 8.45pm, when I saw a sign which says "Gilgara Retreat". It was also raining like cats & dogs on that night, so when we finally checked in 2 our beautiful garden suite, we seriously didnt had anymore energy to drive out 4 dinner....
Thanks 2 Elaine, the person in charge, for offering us some fresh bread & warm macaroni.
Forgot 2 mention that the Gilgara retreat was really a very beautiful place, I would try to upload some pics. Everything was great, except 4 the fact that Kion couldnt get herself to relax completely & was therefore crying in her sleep every 2hrs, which therefore made me having trouble sleepin as well=(

Day 2: We woke up in the morning, in fact I woke up at 8am in the morning, thinking that it was already 10am, tks 2 the clock in the room, which was set faster than the actual time. We proceeded to the Sunflower farm, which was only 5mins away from Gilgara & was greeted by a fierce white dog, as Kelvin had parked the car at the wrong area(which I think dis-pleased the dog).
Hehe, then the rest of the story was just like what I had predicted, Kion was just too afraid of the hungry animals & insisted on having Kelvin 2 carry her thru out the whole farm trip=( kind of disappointed, cos we tot she would enjoy herself there & even bought a video camera so that we could record her trip, with video of her feeding the animals, having a good time, instead of her being a scary cat, insisting on having her daddy 2 carry her all the way till we left the farm...
We explored the town of M.R in the late afternoon, & Kelvin bought a lamb skin jacket 4 me, which I think was quite costly & not worth buying, as I wont b able 2 wear it in SG, but he seems to like it very much, & seriously, compared 2 my lamb-skin bags, the jacket seems way cheaper...
We had dinner at abt 7pm, at a restaurant called "waves" but by then Kion was already sound asleep, & being me, I savour the opportunity 2 have Kelvin feed me as I was carrying Kion, & cant use my hands=) Hehehee...

Day 3: We checked out of Gilgara & proceeded 2 the yallingup shed as Kelvin really wanted Kion 2 have a look at how sheep shearing was done. Sad 2 say that we only realised that there was no sheep shearing 2 be done on that day, we therefore were instead allowed 2 feed the sheeps with some dried food provided. We left after feeding & proceeded 2 our next stop, which we didnt even know where it was, except that the name of the place was Karri Valley Resort. After a few hrs drive, we finaaly got there....
Like real, in fact we got lost in the woods, & Kelvin was seriously panicking & insisted that we leave the woods 2 ask 4 directions. Thinking back, I was really a "GongGong" who kept insisting that we were driving in the right directions even tho the road was deserted & weird, with not a sign of any vehicles at all.... we even saw wild kangaroos hoping pass.... Thinking back, tk god Kelvin wasn't an impulsive person like me, otherwise, we might have landed ourselves in serious trouble as there was completely no reception in the woods, we wouldn't be able 2 get help should our tyre got flat or if the sky got dark...
We finally arrived at Karri Valley, which actually was in Pemberton, at 4+pm, I admit that I do agree with Kelvin that this place isn't worth going as the travelling distance is way too far... We had our dinner at the only Restaurant there as well & even rented a disc(hotel 4 dogs) to watch in our room (Kion loved the show so much that she kept urging me 2 buy her the disc when we got back).

Day 4: We checked out of Karri Valley & headed down 2 Perth, Sheraton Hotel, which we had booked in advance 4 the last 3 nights....
The journey down was peaceful, & we passed by many small towns on the way... the road in W.A was really shiok, the traffic & cars there just wasn't as heavy as SG. We checked in at abt dunno wat time... then went 2 north bridge 4 dinner at a chinese restaurant, which I cant even recall their name, but they certainly served the best "char siew" I ever tasted.... then went back to the not so impressive 5-star Sheraton, to drink to our cheap toss of red wine b4 heading 2 bed...

Day 5: We went to Leeuwin winery 4 lunch, then the Meyer to shop around, but didnt shop in the end, & was busking around with the pple there....
At night, it was the same, drinking our cheap Pensfold b4 getting to bed=)

Day 6: We went 2 the Caversham wildlife park, which I think Kion really enjoyed, as by now, she had gotten used 2 the kangaroos & was really happy 2 see the Koalas... She even touched the Koalas, which I think is a huge improvement compared 2 Day 2, which she didnt even dare 2 put her feets 2 the ground at the Sunflower Farm.
After Caversham, we went 2 the Chocolate Factory, & Kion, I wonder if its due 2 genetic reasons, loves chocolate JUST SIMPLY AS MUCH AS ME THAT SHE EVEN SACRIFICES naping, just 4 the sake of looking at how chocolates r being mould 2 shapes, of cos, plus free tasting of some ordinary dark chocolates....
We went 2 King's Park after that, & I could tell that Kion was really happy 2 be running around the open space in such cooling weather, although compare 2 M.R. the weather is Perth is definitely not as cooling....
Kion insisted on sitting on the ferry 2 bring us to & fro Point A & B, but once we reached the nearest stop 2 buy a ticket, she fallen asleep...
By then, Kelvin was already craving 4 chines food, so was he glad 2 find a Yong Tau Foo stall, except that we only realized that the shop we tot was a restaurant, was actually a mini-mart, selling frozen yong tau foo food=((( Boy, was he upset....

Anyway, I cant really update abt the rest of the 2days as I've already had this post in my draft 4 more than a wk....
See, this is how inconsistent I can get sometimes, tat's y I hestitated so long 2 start a blog....

Well, 4 a quick & short one, I can only say that things hasn't been good 4 Kion since we came back as she has started crying 4 the past wk whenever I dropped her off "wee care" 4 class, I hope that things would get better next wk as I really dont like 2 force her 2 school & sees her get so upset everything I leave=(

Sad, sad, sad... can anyone advise??? When I try 2 share my worries with Kelvin, he would usually just says that he doesn't knows how 2 handle situations like this, & ask me 2 take charge... but I really dunno what 2 do as well....
We r all first time parents, going thru trials & errors 2 find the perfect solution, yet what is put in front of us, r not simply some mathemathical sums, but is a life, a pure & precious life, which needs guidiance on what is right & wrong..... Whoever they become, would b from whatever we impart....