Yup, just when u think that things r going extremely well now, u suddenly receive a bombshell=( Isn't this kind of scenerio only found in T.V dramas??? Y is it happening 2 me?
Anyway, it all happened yesterday. The day was fun & happy 4 Kion but who would have tot that 20mins b4 leaving, Mummy spoke 2 me & our conversation went like this, Mummy:" Jo, Kion asked if she could stay over 4 the nite cos she said "Grandma, I like my house but sometimes Mummy scold me, she very fierce, I very sad.".... Grandma:" how about ur Daddy?" Kion:" Daddy also fierce, sometimes...".Mummy said that by then, Kion's eyes were all red & fighting back tears. Grandma:" Then y is ur Mummy so fierce 2 u? Y does she want 2 scold u?" Kion:" Grandma, bcos cometimes I very naughty so my Mummy angry..." Of cos, we could all figure out what Grandma replied next.
My heart seemed 2 be pierced by I dunno wat sharp object, but the feeling was really unbearable. Haven't things been really good recently as I no longer threatened 2 buy a cane home except tat I did used a thick wooden stick 2 hit her palm thrice one morning cos she was daring me 2 do it=(
I have even gave up forcing her 2 brush her teeths herself every morning, and had instead been brushing her teeth 4 her every morning once I managed 2 get her in2 the bathroom.... I admit that I do sometimes raise my voice at Kion, especially when she pretend not 2 hear me (mayb cos she's abit more timid, or mayb cos she sees me as her only care-taker, that's y she feels hurt when I raises my voice at her.)
Seriously, I do wonder now if she's feeling hurt or me feeling deeply tramatised by what she told Mummy cos since last nite, I seems 2 b carrying a heavy heart with me, till now, I wonder what is wrong, y does my heart suddenly weigh so much???
Haven't Kion been giving me so many kisses & hugs recently whenever we were together?? & all these while when I tot she had been so happy when we were together, she might not had been at all..... I am seriously doubting my ability 2 be a good mother, it seems like although I have been trying my best 2 use rewards instead of threatening of punishments, adding more "Please" in my speech when asking her 2 do something, swopping all the "can & could" with "will & would", I am still failing....=(((
Arrrgggggg..... Kion, do u know that ur words 2 Grandma had hurt Mummy a great deal??? =(
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