Yes, it sure sucks when a couple quarrels but in my case, I simply hate quarreling with him to the core....
Why? cos we seldom quarrels as Kelvin usually gives in 2 me, thinking that I'm young & therefore impulsive, or maybe bcos he's always the one doing wrong things, upsetting me......
It all took place at 8am in the morning, Kion:"Mummy, I dont want to go to school"(sobbing in tears). Me:"Be good Kion, time 4 school". Kion:" mummy, I dont want 2 go, I want 2 sleep, I'm so tired". (Daddy, on the bed with us, but no reaction at all) Me:" Kion, u better stop it & get up now", me to Kelvin:" just 1 child & we cant handle, what makes u think we should have another one?" I admit by now my tone was cold & icy as I was by now quite irritated cos things had been like this 4 the past few days=(
Later on after sending Kion 2 school, Kelvin raised his voice a little while talking 2 me... He said that I was throwing all my fustrations 2 him & said that if I didnt want another child, I should just tell him straight in the face. But didnt I already told him a few wks ago that mayb we should just stick 2 one as we seriously or mayb its just me, seriously afraid that I may not be able 2 handle 2.
We quarrelled & I blamed him & cited examples of him not being able 2 discipline Kion, but he simply said that he just doesnt know how 2 and therefore leaves the disciplinary part 2 me. I dont want our children 2 have parents who doesnt take part much in their growing process, that's y I always try not 2 bring my helper along when we goes out as I'm sure that Kelvin would help me whenever Kion needs my help. Yet 2 him, he feels that hiring a helper is 2 make my life easier, therefore we should always bring our helper out with us, so that Kion would have a companion 2 play with, a person 2 feed her,& a person 2 lessen my burden when we r out. But isn't all these the job of a parent???
It is tough when a couple has different views in life, & it is even tougher when he has already lay out his cards & want me 2 agree with him =(((
Life is just so contradicting, initially when we 1st had Kion, we tot that 1 would b enough,& tat we would shower her with all our love & teach & groom her patiently, although non of the both of us r genius... Then when Kion was abt 2yrs old, we observed that she was always looking at other kids who had companion, either brother or sister, 2 play with & we tot that she may like 2 have a sibling as well.... After deciding that we should get her a sibling, we tried 2 introduce the idea 2 her, but she didnt like it at all. Most of my conversation with her goes like this, I said" Kion, do u want mummy 2 give u a sister or brother so that she/he can play with u?" Kion replied" No, I dont want. Sister would take my things & brother would fight with me". After having a few conversation like this, I gave up on the idea of having another baby cos isn't it bcos of her that we planned 2 have a 2nd child? Yet y is it that Kelvin is insisting now that we shouldnt listen 2 her & plainly cos of her views that we abandon the idea of having a 2nd child???
I wonder what would the outcome be? Would Kelvin think back & understand how I'm feeling? Or would I b the one who in the end, give in 2 him??? I do not believe in allowing heaven 2 control my destiny as I think that we r all able 2 decided what we want, 2 say that our life is fated is just an excuse.
Seriously, my heart sank when Kelvin told me that he doesnt knows how 2 discipline his children =(( What makes him think that I knows??? Both of us r 1st time parents, & we r going thru a trial & error state. But it is important that we do not make mistakes this time round cos in front of us lies the fate & future of a life, not just simply a mathemathical qns....
Whatever we do or teach, would mould her into what she becomes in future...
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